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thescorpioracer · 4 years ago

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Sen Çal Kapımı 1 - Episode Recap

To be honest, this series of posts is mostly going to be a fashion roast. But DISCLAIMER! I really do love this show and Turkish TV in general, it’s just my preferred mode of media analysis is to pick things apart. 😂And I need everyone to know that I am very pro-women, and believe people should be able to dress how they want and not be judged for it or be looked down upon for it. But oh my god this wardrobe department/costumer needs to be STOPPED. I also have zero credentials to be talking about fashion, but will that stop me?

I’m going to make these posts assuming you’ve watched the show, and just comment on whatever comes up. There will be spoilers. Let’s go!

We start off with a voiceover from Eda Yıldız, an A+ romcom trope. (It wasn’t until my rewatch that I remembered that Eda used to do VOs at random intervals, and I’m kind of glad she stopped tbh.) She is a strong woman who wants to get her education and become a landscape architect/designer. She was all set to do that until- dun dun dun! - Serkan Bolat destroyed everything.

Check out that dart board of a man (and this is the only time we see that photo there). And these outfits are probably the most normal and reasonable clothes she wears in the show. She’s a beautiful young woman, who was a college student, and now works outdoors as a florist. 10/10 outfit.

Of course that transitions us into an epic slomo of Serkan exiting his private jet. He of course begins to berate his assistant on the phone in a way a friend described as reminiscent of The Devil Wears Prada.

@teamnick‘s commentary back when she first started the show.

Serkan returns to his office for the first time in 2 months after working on business deals in London. Chaos ensues: Miranda Priestly is baaaaaaack.

See... here we have some good fashion choices! We meet the girls for the first time, while they try to sneak off to their graduation without making Eda feel bad that she won’t be receiving her diploma. Melek “Melo” is dressed in a sweet dress with a bold, romantic color, which captures her personality perfectly. Ceren, the rich daughter from a family of lawyers, looks a bit more high-fashion. The dress is short but it has long sleeves and no cleavage so it works out to be chic and elegant. Fifi is unapologetically herself with her full-black, punk wardrobe. Eda is again dressed in a pretty, but casual outfit. Nicely put together for her lower-middle-class lifestyle and her job as a florist.

Enter: the plot device to get our protagonists together. Serkan’s face says it all.

We are then introduced to the main couple’s respective cars. Serkan has his 2020 BMW (though the show blocks out the copyrighted branding) while Eda’s beat up SUV is clearly unreliable. What’s that? Another plot device being introduced? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Also, I just noticed this, but for someone as uptight as Serkan, I’m surprised at how fun his suit jacket lining is. If I’m not mistaken the pattern is of a bunch of rainbow fish. #Snazzy, but they seem out of character?

Plot highlights:

Eda learns she can come back to school and finish her final year, but she’s lost her scholarship and will have to pay. She can’t.

Serkan gives his talk at the graduation (?)-- Is his talk just for architecture students? If so, why are Ceren, Fifi, and Melo there? We’ll never know. I know, I know... it’s all for the ~plot~

Eda calls Serkan out in front of everyone for taking away the scholarship that she earned from his company, Art Life. He is confused but unrepentant. She refuses to tell him her name.

She tries to deface his car with lipstick after keying the side (we never hear about the damage to his car after that). He catches her and wants to call the police, so she impulsively handcuffs them together with the plot devices from Selin’s wedding invitation sitting on his passenger seat.

They then have to go to Serkan’s urgent business meeting with an out-of-town client. Eda drives while they’re handcuffed together. Bickering ensues.

What is this? Foreshadowing? Symbolism?? Eda’s last name “Yıldız” is the Turkish word for “star” so... file that away for later.

One of my favorite parts about watching Turkish dramas is the experience of trying to decipher the fan translations. Add to the fact that Turkish only has 1 pronoun *chef’s kiss*

Eda refuses to take the elevator to the 15th floor (we’ll learn about her claustrophobia later). Serkan is equally as stubborn, saying she owes him for screwing up his day. But he has met his match in Eda with regards to stubbornness. They take the stairs.

More highlights:

First instance of fake dating - they need to hide the handcuffs from his client so Eda pretends she’s his girlfriend and a fellow investor.

The girls track Eda’s phone to the hotel and try to find her by asking around the premises.

Eda charms the client into selling his land to Serkan.

We learn that Serkan is allergic to strawberries and has a lot of health anxiety. He’s a very tightly wound person.

Serkan says “Mashallah,” translator hears 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Engin brings way too many people to open the handcuffs and chaos ensues.

I feel like nothing can do justice to the comedy of 58:45 to 1:00:00 with Fifi using a bobby pin as a lock pick. The dramatic editing is 👌🏼

Leyla gets fired for somehow causing this drama??? And she is so happy to leave that stressful workplace omg, we don’t deserve her 🥺

Serkan and Eda go their separate ways, Eda prepared to never see her enemy again, but of course her phone and purse are still in his car so she has to go to his office at Art Life and confront him again.

Serkan has found out that Whoops, Art Life did cancel the study abroad scholarships to cut costs, but his CFO did it without telling him. And Serkan is pissed, but I think mainly about the fact that Eda did have some (SOME) grounds for yelling at him in public.

Leyla then explains the nonsensical reasoning behind her being fired-but-not-fired and still working. (Spoiler alert: she never goes anywhere and she is my favorite side character to this day).

Eda: “How can I piss Serkan off?” Leyla: “Find a mistake he’s made and he will fixate on it forever. But you won’t find anything.” Eda: “Hold my beer.”

Eda walks into Serkan’s office and his meeting. She gets her purse back and they fight about him not being willing to apologize for ruining her life and education. He refuses and says she owes him an apology for embarrassing him in public (no, dude).

He wants to give her back the scholarship and make it all go away but she rightly tells him that it won’t fix her broken pride from begging the company and her university for a second chance. But somehow her calling him a heartless “Robot” is what gets to him???? And he short-circuits. Eda walks out triumphant.

~dRaMa!~

MEANWHILE

Melo, as well as being a perfume sales girl, also works as a flight attendant and wants Eda to cover her shift (we’ll get into how that doesn’t make sense in a minute)

Eda says no, she’s going to meet her boyfriend, Cenk, who she hasn’t seen in months and has just returned from Italy.

Enter: Selin. Serkan’s ex who he dumped a while ago and is now engaged to the heir of a hotel empire. Serkan doesn’t like this. The two of them grew up together and are set to each inherit 50% of the holding company that Serkan’s father currently runs.

Right away Selin serves us with a gender reveal level color scheme. Personally not a fan. They confirm that Serkan is coming to her engagement party tomorrow.

Meanwhile Eda meets up with Cenk. Her outfit is still reasonable and cute for her character. He looks mildly like a hobo and doesn’t seem to have anything going for him (I know he’s a throwaway character but the two of them really don’t have anything in common).

This creeper keeps staring at them, but Cenk tries to explain it away and says he’s busy and can’t meet her again until the day after tomorrow. Eda is disappointed but accepts this. Creeper girl remains and remains a red flag to viewers, but apparently not to Eda.

Cut to later that evening, and of course our broody main man enjoys astronomy in his free time (???) idk what he’s charting and to what purpose but okay?

Eda finds a mini first aid kit in her purse that Serkan put there before returning it. Queue montage of them treating their respective wrists for handcuff-related injuries. #couplegoals

Of course we also needed a sepia-toned flashback to earlier that day when the handcuffs contrived their faces to get too close together. #romance

Finallyyyyyyy it’s morning again and a new day.

Since Eda can’t see Cenk (good, he’s so boring), she agrees to fill in as a flight attendant for Melo, who’s side job is for a private plane company.

Now. This should not be a thing. Eda was in college to be a landscape architect and now works as a florist for her aunt... Where has she learned any relevant skills to work as a flight attendant?? Presumably nowhere. And I really don’t think a private plane company would be so easygoing about just having a random person fill in to cover for her friend?

But does this show care about that? What do you think...

Also, instead of the standard white shirt, black skirt uniform requirements, the girls decide that this skimpy dress and heels is fine? Hmmm

Also lol @ Melo for assuming that the client who wants jasmine tea and fruit salad is probably a woman. And her telling Eda that the PRIVATE JET COMPANY would in fact have its own tea was very random and unnecessary.

Back at the Bolat house compound, we meet the parents: Aydan and Alptekin. We’ll see them again later. Selin’s engagement party is today.

Meanwhile Eda is just.... being a flight attendant, I guess??? And who could possibly be the passenger she has to take care of? Take a wild guess. Of course it’s Serkan Bolat.

And of course that tiny dress (THAT ALSO HAS A LEG SLIT?? WHY?? I really don’t need to see her vagina) looks very practical and professional... not! (Hande Erçel is a gorgeous human, and the dress looks good on her, don’t get me wrong. BUT THIS IS SITUATIONALLY INCORRECT ATTIRE). Also him just folding his vest and then social distancing from it... K? 😂

Eda panics and doesn’t want Serkan to see her and runs away back to her seat pod thing - Serkan takes issue with his fruit salad for ~plot reasons~ (EDIT: I’ve been informed that it’s because there was a strawberry in his fruit salad and since he’s allergic, of course it needed to be fixed. Why doesn’t the plane have a note of that??) and comes back to find this mystery flight attendant.

Eda is very stressed out about this encounter and is also starting to have a panic attack because, surprise, she’s also claustrophobic.

After Serkan calms her down, they have a cute/civil conversation for the rest of the flight.

When they land, Eda realizes they’re on an island 2h45min away from Istanbul and she isn’t sure what to do with herself (How did she not already know where they were going, as the FLIGHT ATTENDANT??? So may red flags with this private jet company).

Serkan convinces Eda to come with him and she can hang out at the beach while he’s at Selin’s engagement party.

At the engagement party we finally meet Selin’s fiancé Ferit. He’s sweet and non-threatening and clearly insecure about Serkan being Selin’s ex.

This dress/skirt outfit Selin is wearing isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t scream rich socialite to me. Anything with feathers seems... a bit tacky/too showy? Like someone pretending to be rich? Idk, this outfit isn’t one I’m going to really take a stand on.

Does this engagement party warrant being a 2h45 min flight away? No. They try to explain it away as the couple wanting to have something small and private, even though they also invite the press?? But okay whatever, as long as Serkan and Eda cross paths again, I suppose.

Kaan Karadağ has been mentioned a couple times in passing, but now we finally meet our “villain.” Ferit’s friend, and Serkan & Selin’s childhood acquaintance, who has it out for Serkan bc he somehow bankrupted Kaan’s dad? Idk and I don’t really care but tl;dr they’re enemies.

Another thing I love about Turkish dramas is the censoring. Like, they’ll allow alcohol to be on screen, but they won’t say the word and they’ll just blur out the bottle and any liquid that we’d assume is alcoholic 😂

In the evening, Serkan is tired and wants to leave and Ferit snidely jokes about how Serkan is too picky to have a fiancé of his own. Serkan flashes back to 1 entire day ago when he and Eda pretended to be dating at his business meeting, and says that actually he is engaged to someone and then peaces out.

Serkan finds Eda on the beach, and they are preparing to leave when a crowd of people (Selin, Ferit, and Kaan mainly), arrive to get a peek at Serkan’s new “fiancé.” Eda very reluctantly plays along (good thing she has that unnecessarily sexy “work” dress to help her look the part) and Serkan notices that for the first time ever, Selin is jealous of another woman. #drama

After they finally escape the crowd, Serkan makes an annoyed Eda an offer: Pretend to be his fiancé for the 2 months leading up to Selin’s wedding so he can get them to break up and prevent Ferit marrying into the company. In return, he will pay all the fees to help her complete her last year of studies in Italy.

Eda refuses, stating that she doesn’t want anything from him, and besides she has a boyfriend (Sure Jan; Cenk is such a joke). They have it out and then fly back to Istanbul. But of course the gossips at the engagement have spread the news of Serkan’s new woman so the paparazzi corner them at the airport when they land.

So glad that we got to see this random mechanic find out the news (???)

They escape the cameras and Serkan takes her home, saying that Art Life has a press conference tomorrow, and she should come so he can save face and tell everyone that she was his assistant accompanying him for work to the party. Eda agrees.

It should also be mentioned that Serkan still doesn’t know her name at this point?? She refused to tell him and Engin still hasn’t sent him the names of the scholarship candidates so it’s a bit miraculous that their relationship was at all believable.

The next day, Cenk wants to meet but Eda has to go to the press conference. The girls come too for whatever reason, and Melo is convinced that Cenk wants to propose. Eda just lets that fantasy take hold (why tho?), and Cenk shows up unexpectedly right before the press conference and takes Eda into the nearby hotel’s cafe so they can talk.

Eda seems ready for a proposal (they haven’t seen each other or really communicated in months??) but Cenk wants to break up. Eda is shocked (???) but then Cenk mentions that he has a new girlfriend from Italy that he adores, and oh by the way, it’s the creepy girl from the other night who also happens to be here right now?

Okay fine, I guess??? Cenk: “She’s doesn’t speak Turkish” Girlfriend: *clearly a Turkish actress*

Eda is upset that he brought his jealous girlfriend with him to break up with her and says something about how actually, she’s seeing Serkan Bolat now (maybe it’s just me being someone who doesn’t follow tabloids, but are business people really that popular in every day society where everyone knows who they are?). Cenk laughs at Eda, saying that everyone wants to be with Serkan Bolat, and that she’s bluffing.

Eda makes an impulsive decision, and walks away, over to where Serkan has started the press conference. And seals their fate as fake dating in the public eye.

Queue confetti. No really.

And there we have it. That’s the episode!

In all seriousness, it’s a pretty great pilot, especially for a romcom. It hits all the right beats, includes enough tropes, and tells us a lot about what we should expect in the episodes going forward. And no matter how much I make fun of it, I really do enjoy this show! It’s been such a nice distraction from Current Events. I’ve spent a lot of time watching these episodes just saying “oh my god” out loud to myself as I watch all of the cute/romantic gestures that give me a lot of second hand embarrassment (I forget that PDA makes me kinda uncomfortable 😂).

There wasn’t actually that much terrible fashion in this episode, which I didn’t notice until my rewatch. If I continue with this series of posts, I’m hoping they’ll end up being less plot-centric, and more about the situationally inappropriate outfits and strange subtitling choices.

See you next time?

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serenagaywaterford · 5 years ago

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What is tender culture????

tender culture is all this cottagecore, domesticity, uwu crap that is particularly prevalent in lesbian/wlw circles. like i’m all for fluff and thinking positively but tender culture seems to reduce loving women to a set of stereotypical “feminine” soft and gentle traits. like here’s an example:

“we are in a toasty log cabin in the woods. it’s cold and we snuggle under this homemade quilt with our cat and quietly sip hot chocolate as the snowflakes gently fall against the reddening leaves outside. but we’re safe and warm and loved.”

it’s that sort of shit.

like i said, it’s not bad. it’s just that it’s EVERYWHERE. hell, i follow that lesbian domesticity blog myself tbh (altho i does grate on my nerves that it’s constantly about tender culture and never about sex. and really it is nothing like my relationship with my wife but hey. it’s about her and her wife, not universal experiences. her blog her rules). tender culture as a whole seems to idealise relationships (cos i’m sure it exists in bi and het circles too) as these sweet, cutesy, soft things that are always perfect and everyone is just gentle and calm and utterly loving all the time.

and there’s never any fucking. there’s never any indication that women are sexual beings and sex is an integral part of relationships. (don’t anybody fight me on this. it’s true and you know it.) there’s never any indication that people argue, or tease, or fight, or get turned on. hell, most of the time there’s never even any indication that people PLAY and joke even. it’s ALL like “uwu i barely touch your hand and feel the stars align and we are soft and perfect and fall asleep in your arms.” BARF.

i think, tbh, that’s the issue i have with it being SO prevalent in lesbian online culture. we’ve been told FOREVER that lesbian sex either doesn’t exist, isn’t real sex, is gross, doesn’t really count OR alternately is this fetishistic OTT porn thing for men to jerk off to. we’ve been taught to be ashamed and keep our SEXUALITY to ourselves. the tender culture thing makes being lesbian palatable to the masses because it’s so non-threatening.

and to separate it from lesbian culture specifically, we AS WOMEN have been taught since birth to shut up about sex. we’ve been shamed into silence about female masturbation and female arousal and female orgasm and female desire. like so many of us grow up without learning about our own bodies. a woman knowing her own body is a threat. a woman seeking her own pleasure is a threat. basically a woman talking about sex is a threat.

and even besides sex, we’ve been socialised to be calm, gentle, nice, accommodating, nurturing, kind, and so so soft. we’re not allowed to be hungry, funny, angry, emotional, mean, have boundaries, be wild and dirty and feral. we’re not allowed to scream and fight unless we’re one of “those” type of women as if all women don’t want to just fucking scream sometimes.

sometimes women just need to get themselves off too. i just find it very… dangerous to ONLY see that non-threatening tender side of things because it upholds patriarchal behavioural gender norms to such a crazy degree.

so all this “tender culture” crap that basically denies this side of female existence by its silence bothers me. which is why i like to reblog posts critical about tender culture sometimes, alongside tender culture posts which i do like also. we need reminders that there is NOTHING wrong with masturbation, sexual arousal, sexual pleasure, fucking (not just ~making love~), and being a woman while doing it. there’s nothing weird or wrong about being angry and upset and playful and horny and wild. i would just really like to see more content like that.

there is an argument that women/lesbians have been so overly sexualised by men that it’s a direct response to that pure sexual objectification. like, hey, women have feelings and care, and especially lesbians are romantic and loving too. not just sex objects shoving dildos in each other while wearing high heels. i can see some validity in that reaction. but to me, there is just too much and it starts to seem like that ALL lesbians want is hand holding and a pretty garden and cats in some idyllic cottage somewhere. it seems to have flipped too far the other way into a cliched “perfect woman” under patriarchy non-threat stereotype.

i also recognise that the moment a woman starts talking about sex, especially lesbians, it easily gets co-opted and appropriated by perverts and fetishists and pornsick men (and women). it’s hard to just talk about our experiences without it being viewed a specific way by outsiders. it’s either hyper-sexualised or hypo-sexualised by someone else. there is always gonna be some sick fuck with his dick in his hand ready to go or some conservative prick screaming bloody murder about morals as soon as we try to discuss our own experiences. but i don’t think that means we should shut up about everything sexual or dirty or “nasty” about our reality as women out of fear of these scrotal cumsacks.

it’s all about balance, really.

and being willing to get up and yell: GET OUT. THIS ISN’T FOR YOU. when you see them infiltrate something for us. you see a man make a lewd comment, call him out. make him uncomfortable. take back what we have from them.

like i said, there’s nothing inherently wrong with tender culture. i just think it needs to be balanced with actual reality. there’s nothing wrong with romantic daydreams and just wanting someone to love you gently, and to cherish you and your relationship. and especially when the world is so insane, it’s fine to want something calm and gentle. but real relationships are not JUST that one thing. and i think tender culture gives a false sense of reality as to what normal adult relationships are like. i’ve been told here on my blog that even talking about sex with my wife is TMI (it’s not), talking about masturbation is TMI (it’s not), and even worse that me arguing with my wife and getting pissed off at her is something to be so terrified of (it’s not) that i should “get somewhere safe”. no. i should work it out and communicate. not run away every time things aren’t fluffy and calm and tender. that’s so unhealthy. and that’s what i feel being inundated with tender culture does. it gives a warped idea about what a healthy relationship is.

like no. tender culture denies this not so nice reality of human relationships, especially when you live together. like yes, of course we have the beautiful, romantic, tender side too. but people argue. people can fucking hate each other sometimes when they’re stressed out or frustrated and it comes out in arguments. and there is a scale. there’s a point when it becomes unhealthy and toxic but i think it’s equally unhealthy to never argue and force yourself to push any feelings you have down in order to maintain some idealized genteel version of a relationship that you’ve been bombarded with online as what you SHOULD have.

and this goes for joking around and playfulness too. sometimes when i joke with my wife and call her a bitch or she says “rude” things to me, people are like “OH MY GOD!” but… i mean, that’s just us? it’s joking. (we sometimes do it purposely in front of people to laugh at their reactions cos we are both assholes.) we play with each other a lot. she’s an incessant tease. she calls me an idiot. i literally tell her i’m gonna punch her in the face when she’s teasing me. do i mean it? of course not. we roughhouse and wrestle and playfight even (not sexually jsyk. just simply playing which is SO LOST in this society. we don’t do any bdsm bullshit). it’s a type of physical expression that doesn’t hurt anybody and requires a certain level of connection and trust too. the fact i can tackle her onto the sofa and she squeals and grapples me back is HEALTHY. adults can play too. it’s like that post i made a while back when i talked about how my wife shoved her fingers in me when i was bending over unaware and laughed about it ...and was told it was TMI. like um ...we are physically intimate and playful and it’s not a BAD THING. and i’ll share it cos honestly? if you don’t have that level of intimacy and trust and fun, i personally think there may be something wrong. (if it crosses personal boundaries for you, that’s something else. but she knows it doesn’t bother me.) on my blog i will talk about my relationship with my wife in ALL its glory, bad, good, fun, horny, loving cos it is a fully-rounded relationship and adults don’t experience just one thing.

i fucking love sex with women and i was denied it for so long i’m not about to shut up about it now. i love fucking and the female body in all its wet, messy, soft, beautiful glory. i love being in love finally and properly and i won’t shut up about that either. i won’t be shamed to be quiet about my body or my sex life or my relationship that ISN’T perfect. (like i’m literally going to kill her if says to me one more time that 80s music is the best music lmao like she’s gonna kill me if i leave one more dirty bowl beside the sofa for the stupid idiot dogs to get at).

to some people, i guess reality doesn’t matter. they only want the daydreams and fantasies, or they only live in a soft cloud world. that’s up to them. maybe that’s what they need in their lives. and that is fine. for a while but it isn’t real life and it’s not what you should strive for. it SHOULD be part of what you strive for however. you should have someone who cherishes you and cares and loves and respects.

i just don’t think tender culture should be as overwhelming as it is. it sets standards that i don’t think are realistic. let’s talk about sex or arguing or any range of human relationship issues too. don’t get rid of tender culture, at all. keep it. cherish it. let it give you hope and positivity and ease loneliness and isolation. healthy, loving, respectful fantasies are important af. but don’t act like a puritanical dunce when a woman talks about sex or hunger or anger as well.

i mean i’m not asking for sexually explicit content and i’d never go into intense detail about my own life (that’s what fanfic is for lmao) but a little recognition that women aren’t just domestic soft cliches. that’s all.

i don’t see any of that in tender culture. it’s all soft uwu feathery kisses and soothing fingers brushing along a forearm. blah… sometimes you need to get fucked. sometimes you need to laugh. sometimes even you need to argue.

wow ok

sorry anon

you asked me what tender culture was and i went off on a rant about why i hate it lol. i’m sorry. you asked such a simple question and i word vommed all over it.

#Anonymous #long post #i am telling you i have had way too much caffeine already today

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ilygsd · 6 years ago

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241018: 2

okay here we go, this is from some shitty mental health site ot whatever. i actually liked the site though. i read about aspd, adhd, autism, ptsd, bpd, npd etc. informative i guess

somewhat true i guess. i dont want anything else than to love him. i dont know why i feel the need or want to but i need and want to (lol) love people. with all my fucking heart. i want to die for someone (wow) but they need to take care of me, and above all APPRECIATE my love. this guy cant even FEEL my love, how the fuck is he going to APPRECIATE it? it’s all empty and the only thing he feels like the... the sexual parts or smth ugh idk.

he is a social predator. he once said i reminded him of a beautiful but innocent deer and now i cant stop thinking about it. idk, it used to scare me before but tbh now i dont even know if i should be offended or fascinated by how..... fucking smart and talented these people are. he said i was pretty desperate when we first met (still am oops) and little did i know i was. i was desperate wooow he could probably smell my desperation and vulnerability miles away that fucking monster haha. this article sounds a bit dramatic though. im pretty sure he would be amused by reading it, idk. amused and annoyed. i feel like this is his standard state lmao. annoyed, bored and slightly amused.

the best way to receive love is to give love, yes indeed and he knows that. and loving him is amazing. i dont know how or why, i cant describe it and i refuse to actually admit that i love him.... I REFUSE: i dont even trust the guy, he stands for nothing, always playing the devils advocate fucking white boy, always provoking me but.... maybe its just cus he’s older and im just bored with life. well yeah probably that too. i mean.... if i was content with my life, my relationships and health i wouldnt need him lol. especially not considering how he treats me and hurt my feelings. but wow as i’ve said, i love loving him (or whatever the fuck it is) and theres nothing i’d rather do than loving him. he’s a drug

and yeah thats definitely exactly what it was like. i still cant believe i actually thought we were similar LMAOOOOOOOO and he’s like “yeah people think that we’re similar until i tell them otherwise”. we are NOT similar. okay yes, i have some abusive traits, some manipulative i guess. i guess that’s similar. but other than that.... nope

uh, he says im emo all the time when im with him lol. trueeee. im so comfortable with him my emo just jumps out and i get really depressing wow. i wonder why he stuck with me for so long. i must be so boring. i mean it could be for the sex as i’ve said, but i doubt that. i wonder what the heck he thinks he can use me for. im always paranoid he’ll use me but at the same time i struggle with thoughts that im useless so.... bruh idk lmao

true that i stuck it out during the bad times because the good times are fantastic. true. true. idk, its not that fantastic. he’s pretty normal its not like im over showered with compliments and gifts and love but on the other hand i wouldnt want that either. hmm, idk im so curious how he’s acting with other people. if he’s similar or if he changes and adapts himself

im just svared of that “the honeymoon comes to an end”. what does that mean? will it be worse than this??? i mean is he bored now? what happens when he’s bored? will he just leave or do smth stupid? sometimes i think he’s starting drama bc he’s bored tbh that sounds more like me. he actually tried to “end” the fight by that “u owe me 5 blowjobs now” joke but i chose to continue bc he threatened to murder me and i was offended lol

yeah that may have been stupid. it was a choice of mine. he gave me a chance to move on and i chose not to because i thought i could make him apologize. LMAO NOOOOO. this bitch wont apologize for anything in the worldddddddd. makes me so FUCKING frustrated because i AM NOT going to apologize for trying to demand him to apologize. if anything i will just ignore that this ever happened. and i WOULD have, if it wasnt for the STI fact lol. it’s so awkward honestly i have nothing to say if i were to contact him. i dont know, maybe he got HIV now because of me LOL and why the fuck would i expose myself like that like why would he be with me if he publicly stated he wants to murder me if i transmitted it to him. i dont even know (yes i know, i obviously dont fucking have HIV) and i won’t know until he get tested. and he probably wont tell me so actually i should just block him before he gets tested considering he wants to kill me. ok he said he wouldnt etc etc. and i know he wouldnt but he would probably destroy my life in another way.

uh idk, i guess i have to get myself tested again and this time HIV AND AIDS INCLUDED. only then i have a reason to text him and its to say that im clean. what a pathetic reason, i will see right through it. he KNOWS i want him. thats why there’s no reason for me to contact him at all because he already knows i’ll always want to be with him sigh

ok so as i’ve said i’ve thought about this a lot. like what the fuck does he want from me? actually he’s ignoring me right now so idk if he still wants anything sigh. but i guess thats why he wanted to meet so fast irl. i get it now though. at first i was like “NO WE NEED TO TALK FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS” but now im like ugh lets just get it over with. i really thought he was a typical charmer, a slut, but hes been very firm that he doesnt let anyone touch him and that he’s not always up for a second “date”. i guess its smth with their boredom?

ok i guess it’s...... charm? and also sometimes threatening and coldness.

and yeah idk. either he’s ignoring me bc he really lost interest. he’s the one who overreacted though for real... i cant fucking believe he got so pissed over something like that and then just straight out REFUSES to apologize for THREATENING TO MURDER ME. uugh its so annoying it makes me so pissed. he said he’s not the one to block people though. guess he will just let me message him like a fucking pathetic idiot and then leave me on read lol. like he did with my cringe snaps

LMAO YEAH I KNOW TELL ME ABOUT IT. rage.... boy can this sweet angel become angry. he’s always so rational and calm yet he lets himself get triggered over such nonsense. maybe he’s just faking it though to scare me or smth honestly i dont really know, i just know he pissed me off. he’d make a great james fallon, james fallon is a neurobiologist who studies. too bad jo wants doesn’t want to be a scientist or researcher in that matter but actually WORK as a psychologist WITH PATIENTS

fuck i cant help but be attracted to his intelligence though :( wow it makes me feel like such a dumbass typical girly girl and i hate itttttttt. i told him i’d like to see him cry haha. idk. im just curious. im happy he haven’t cried though like used it as a manipulative tool or something. im just rambling idk what the fuck im writing lol

#diary #jo #info #aspd

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japanheart88-blog · 6 years ago

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The 9 Most Legendary Cookbooks of the Last Decade

The Piglet Tournament of Cookbooks has a long and storied past. There are illustrious judges, controversial decisions and upsets, comment squabbles galore, and really solid books. If you're with us for your very first Piglet (which starts next Tuesday, on March 5—huzzah!), you can read all about how it works here.

But seriously...about those books. Each year, the title that takes home the prized Piglet trophy (yeah, there's actually a trophy) is the best of the best, the crème de la crème, the cookbook we couldn't live without. Collectively, they're the books we turn to time and again, the ones that have changed the way we cook and bake. They're the stuff of legends.

So, to get us all in the Piglet spirit—newcomers and superfans both—I am proud to share your Piglet winners through the famed history of the tournament, so you're all caught up for this year's action. You'll also see some recipes from each winner, so you get a sense of the deliciousness that earned the book its top spot.

Seven Fires: Grilling the Argentine Way by Francis Mallmann & Peter Kaminsky

This book, at its best, will totally change the face of your outdoor cooking game. And at its worst, will teach you how to fire up some really good char-grilled meals, Argentinian-style.

According to judge Gail Simmons: "It was Seven Fires that I kept coming back to. Not only did I learn a great deal about this style of cooking, but I felt a sincere sense of familiarity with the author and his fierce passion for the foods of Argentina. I loved that Mallmann gives a realistic indoor and outdoor option for every dish and a thorough explanation of its significance. And his voice, conveyed by American food writer Peter Kaminsky (who has also co-authored books with Daniel Boulud and Gray Kunz), is commanding and dramatic, imparting a sense of romance that I doubt could be pulled off by an American. Mallmann skillfully captures the vast expanse of his country’s cuisine and leaves me wanting more.

Also, Nora Ephron nearly cut her finger off while making the Potato Dominoes. It was worth it. (Recipe below—caution, or a mandoline hand guard, is advised.)

Good to the Grain: Baking with Whole-Grain Flours by Kim Boyce

If you're gluten-free, or are just interested in learning about alternative whole-grain flours, like amaranth or teff, this book is your baking-sherpa (TBH, wish I had one of those all the time).

Deb Perelman of Smitten Kitchen, who knows a thing or two about baking, said the book was a "clear winner". "Cookbooks these days seem full of promises: that they will make your life easier, your jeans size smaller, your time in the kitchen shorter and the earth a better place through a blend of fresh/organic/local/free-range ingredients and I am delighted, because these things are important to me, too. But in the end, I am a glutton and if a recipe doesn’t work well and the food does not taste good, I don’t want to eat it. Whole grains or not, the recipes in Good to the Grain will go on repeat in your kitchen, not because they are chock full of ingredients we should have more of in our diets, but because they work, and they are delicious."

If you don't believe Deb, check out the recipes below. Those whole-wheat chocolate chip cookies speak for themselves.

The Art of Living According to Joe Beef: A Cookbook of Sorts by David McMillan, Frédéric Morin, and Meredith Erickson

This book is about inspiration as much as really tasty food. In the debut cookbook from the celebrated Montreal restaurant, Joe Beef, you'll find recipes (though they're anything but standard) for the requisite smoked meats and foie gras. But you'll also find "Kale for a Hangover" and "Carrots With Honey."

Per Dorie Greenspan and her son Josh, "A book like this is rare. The writing is too good to miss, the people in the book are too deeply interesting not to spend time with, and the food is too lusty not to revel in the indulgence. It's not a perfect book—the recipes work, though some of them are a little less polished than the prose used to write them—but it's an exciting book, an inspiration and a bright star for other talented cooks and writers to follow."

There's a little somethin' somethin' for everyone in Joe Beef, and the recipes below reflect that.

A Girl and Her Pig: Recipes and Stories by April Bloomfield

Critically-acclaimed chef April Bloomfield may have written this ode to her pig (clearly welcome in our world), but she celebrates so much more in this book.

Kurt Andersen liked "the way Bloomfield's plainspoken regular-girl voice comes through strong, such as her description of being a blotto English teenager, her "eyes squinty like two piss-holes in the snow." Her dishes are mostly like that as well—simple (what she calls 'rustic') but tasty, vivid, and idiosyncratic, pub food rethought with care and originality. My dinner of Carrot, Avocado and Orange Salad and Sausage-Stuffed Onions was delicious. And hereafter I will cook oatmeal with half water and half milk, and feel unwise for buying (inevitably crappy) tomatoes in winter."

See the famous oatmeal recipe below.

The New Persian Kitchen by Louisa Shafia

For your primer on the Persian cuisine of Iran—traditional recipes and more modern takes—look no further than Louisa Shafia's book.

April Bloomfield (hey, Piglet friend!) sang its praises: "When I’m looking to cook from somewhere other than my own memory, I look for clearly written recipes. I look for easy-to-follow steps. But above all, as a professional chef, I’m drawn to adventurous cookbooks, especially those that are bright and colorful and that draw me in—and away from what I normally make in the kitchen. Those are the types of books I can sit down with and read in just a day. The New Persian Kitchen is one such book—and because of that, it takes the win."

"Bright and colorful" is right! Just look at these following lively-hued dishes.

Brooks Headley's Fancy Desserts: The Recipes of Del Posto's James Beard Award Winning Dessert Maker by Brooks Headley

The brainchild of the former pastry chef of famed N.Y.C. restaurant, Del Posto, some of these kooky, quirky, utterly delicious desserts take a second to make (as well as a bit of imagination, and some special equipment). But the results are well-worth the effort.

Bill Buford raves. "It is humble. It is brave. It is extreme. It is wacky. It is by far and away the best anti-cookbook cookbook I have ever read. I will be reading it again and again. It is genius. Bravo, Brooks Headley!"

The Hot Bread Kitchen Cookbook: Artisanal Baking from Around the World by Jessamyn Waldman Rodriguez

Bread from around the world. Bread from around the world! Plus, the book's recipes come from the amazing multiethnic N.Y.C. bakery with a fantastic mission—to bring together immigrant women-bakers from across the globe.

Yotam Ottolenghi couldn't have better things to say about the book. He remarks on how "many things I wanted to try, to make, to eat at home. At the same time as having a really clear focus—the book is full of recipes from women from all over the world who have come together to work at the bakery in exchange for training and education—it is absolutely rammed with all sorts of other information. We get baking tips and tricks, in page-long instructions and little quick-fire tidbits both; we get baker profiles; we get business advice for those wanting to set up their own company, and snippets on what the author has learned about juggling her career and family life. All of these weave together to give the book such a strong identity; it’s the sort of volume you want to have in both the kitchen and in bed, simply to read for pleasure at night."

I'd like to read the book and snack on the below Persian flatbread in bed, thankyouverymuch.

My Two Souths: Blending the Flavors of India into a Southern Kitchen by Asha Gomez

Asha Gomez's cookbook connects the author's past and present, bringing together the bright flavors of Kerala, in South India, with iconic recipes from the American South.

As Talia Baiocchi puts it, beautifully, "My Two Souths is a compelling invitation into a kitchen that is singular in its perspective and striking in its ability to weave in ingredients like kodampuli and garam masala, but still read, firstly, like a cookbook about American Southern food. It is a testament to the very spirit of this country’s culinary present: American cooking is as much about mining our country’s past and indigenous flavors as it is about a cook like Gomez mining her own."

If the below Kerala Fried Chicken is the country's culinary present, I'm even more excited to learn about its future.

Kachka: A Return to Russian Cooking by Bonnie Frumkin Morales

This book, which has the same name as Bonnie Frumkin Morales' popular Portland restaurant, is a love letter to the cooking of the chef-owner's heritage. It's also so comforting, you'll want it to tuck you into bed.

Carmen Maria Machado praises the book for being part-cookbook, part-memoir, and "an exploration of the space Russian cooking occupies in Morales’ life. I was delighted that the section about infused vodkas ends with a discussion of drinking culture and a list of toasts, and spreads about Russian markets, pantry staples, and sample menus. I admire how the author approaches the thorny nature of the Russian/Soviet Union diaspora; how she tackles the multifaceted identity of her cookbook’s food in relation to a constellation of nations and peoples, cast against the width and breadth of the region’s history. The text is sharp, funny, playful, and informative, and the biographical opening is beautiful—the story of the origins of the cookbook’s name made my nose tingle like I was about to cry."

The soulful, stick-to-your-ribs meals in the book—like in the two recipes that follow—just about make me cry, too.

Made you look! We don't know this one yet, because the upcoming Piglet is going to help us find out. Will it be 2018's "Buzziest Cookbook", or the newest installment from the author of The Baking Bible? Only time will tell.

But I will tell you—now—who's going to help us decide. Without further ado, here, in alphabetical order and definitely not the order of the tournament (you'll have to tune in next week to get that info), are the 15 illustrious judges who will put this year's books to the test:

Umber Ahmad, founder & chef of N.Y.C.'s Mah Ze Dahr Bakery

Dominique Ansel, chef/owner of Dominique Ansel Bakeries

Jenni Avins, Global Lifestyle Correspondent for Quartz

Roxane Gay, author of Bad Feminist, Hunger & more

Vivian Howard, chef, restaurateur, author & TV personality

Andrew Knowlton, Editor-at-Large of Bon Appétit

Emeril Lagasse, chef, restaurateur, author & TV personality

Padma Lakshmi, host of Bravo's Top Chef & author

Kyle MacLachlan, actor & winemaker of Pursued by Bear wines

Tracee Chimo Pallero, actor on Netflix's Orange is the New Black

James Pomerantz, photo editor for the New York Times & photographer

Antoni Porowski, food & wine expert on Netflix's Queer Eye & author

Matt Sartwell, managing partner of Kitchen Arts & Letters

Emily Weinstein, Deputy Food Editor of the New York Times

Meg Wolitzer, author of The Interestings, The Female Persuasion & more

It's almost Piglet time! What are you most excited about for this year's tournament? Let us know in the comments!

Watch the cookies above in action!

Source: https://food52.com/blog/23857-best-cookbooks-of-the-last-decade-piglet-tournament

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fuckinghooliganloserkillingshit · 8 years ago

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I’m Struggling... still

Hey Tumblr (or whoever is reading this),

I just want to start off by saying that I think it’s time I start titling my posts and dating them. Oh also using correct grammar and spelling. My posts are usually rants or heartfelt moments that I just keep going on and on, without any end. I want to organize my posts from now on.

(okay now on to why I’m on here, no real names btw, except for Rocio)

Well, as the title suggests... I am still struggling and getting used to not being with Rocio. I wish I knew what is holding me from moving on, I mean we did break up about over a month ago; she still has this light hold on me. I don’t really think about her like I used to, but shit still hurts man, I sometimes think of her when I’m working or when I’m listening to music or when I’m just minding my own business. The thought of me just being with her and holding her and kissing her is still in my head, its just like this whole ordeal is a nightmare and I’m soon going to wake up and she’s gonna call me “babe” and we’re gonna smile and kiss and we’re going to go eat some PHO like we always did and then come home and watch a movie (not really, probably going to have sex) and I’m going to go home at 2am and sleep well and wake up and text her “good morning babe! <heart emojis>,” and then I realize that it’s not going to happen.

I decided to just keep these feelings to myself because they are small and occasional and usually do not ruin my day like they used to. I mean I kind of have to. My best friends (S, V, D) all basically hate her a lot and so does my entire family as they seen what I go through when we break up. Her family hates me too, it’s obviously a lose-lose scenario and I am still here basically kinda missing her. But then I ask myself, if in fact I miss HER and not just the company or just the thought of her. That’s where I find myself. I am unsure about what part I miss of Rocio. I know time will heal all wounds, but now I think to myself if I’m fucked up because of our breakup. I already fucked up.

I decided to make a fucking Tinder (out of all the stupid decisions I have done, this has got to be one of the dumbest) and typed up a great bio and added photos of myself that I knew would catch the attention of some. I honestly was shocked to see so many beautiful and gorgeous girls. I fell in love with so many girls the first day I used the app it was hilarious. I remember swiping right a couple of girls who I thought were cute as fuck, and only two responded with a swipe themselves (but we can disregard them) and there was one girl I super liked but that shit was accidental. Well I thought “just my luck!” and decided to message her anyways. It was a great conversation, it really was, I was intrigued and messaging her through the night, and our conversions were great! I couldn’t believe the gold I struck with this girl (we’ll call her Kilo). I decided to meet Kilo right away and asked her on a date to this fancy Italian restaurant in Irvine (it was okay). Well the shock of the night was fucking her! I was so disappointed when I saw her, she was photogenic as FUCK. She was a lot chunkier than she lead on and she had this weird neck. I was so pissed man, I brought her flowers and she made it a big deal (honestly it wasn’t). I was really mad, we got into my car and I was speechless, but I powered on and completed the date and I just didn’t know what to think, I was still in shock tbh. I really don’t remember what we talked about or what was said. I still wanted to see her, but I knew I should have told her the truth. I saw Kilo the next weekend, we messaged, but not as much as the first week. I think I liked it more that we messaged and not when we hung out because I was still thinking about how deceived I felt about buying flowers, getting nervous to meet this new girl, and driving a fucking hour to and from her place to get a girl looking like her. Shit I know I’m not that good looking, but what you see in the photo is literally, what you fucking get man. Her with make-up looked like a new person. That really bothered me. That weekend we had sex. We hooked up. It felt good to have sex again, but then I discovered she was very sensitive and she orgasm really quick and many times. I wasn’t mad about that. I felt ok at the end of the night. The worst part was that she did not know how to fucking kiss and that killed it for me (put the nail in the coffin). But I’m too fucking nice to even say something. I hate myself for that. I did not have the balls to tell her that it was a mistake and that I do not like her at ALL.

The next week was silence. I did not text her nor did I want to. She seems like a good girl but she’s to young for me and I did not find her attractive at all, I fucking forced myself to think she was, but I was not going to waste my damn time and try to pretend. What did my dumbass do? Told her I would spend the weekend at her apartment! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? I arrived Friday and I already had regrets, I felt like my brain was doing shit without me even knowing. We cuddled and tried to watch a movie, but we ended up fucking again. We slept and woke up the next day. I fucked her again. But it didn’t even feel good nor did I want to. That’s when I realized that I was thinking with my other fucking head. I just wanted to fuck her. That’s it and even then I still didn’t even enjoy it. I tried so hard to cum, but I fucking couldn’t. I thought about Rocio and how fucking amazing her body was and how I would smack her ass and go down and eat her out and how she enjoyed me. That was the fucking void I was trying to fill. It failed. I regretted so much. I then realized I had to get out, I had to bail on Kilo. I felt ashamed. I felt like another typical douchebag, I felt like I was one of those trash men. I was.

In some details that I will probably never tell, I managed to leave her apartment on Saturday (I was suppose to stay until Sunday afternoon) and I just went to sleep. I haven’t really talked to Kilo, I’m supposed to call her this Saturday or something to explain what went down. I do not want to see her even though I left my flannel, towels, and pillows at her apartment. She wanted a heartfelt relationship and I could not commit nor give her that. I thought I wanted that too, but just being disillusioned by her appearance ruined that for me. I stopped and told myself that I can do better and that I have to uphold the fucking standards I know I have. I have to take control of my fucking life. That’s what I got from this 4 week ordeal. I know what I need to do.

My mind right now is not capable of handling a relationship nor even dealing with a girl in that magnitude. I just want to fuck around and have a good time. For right now, I do not want to commit and I want to meet as many girls as I can. I want to flirt and have fun. I want to go to clubs and dance my ass off and be drunk with friends. I want to finally graduate and be able to work at an office full-time. I want to hang out with my brother and sister as much as I can before I have to move out and it becomes harder. I want Rocio back. As of now. I really want to know what she thinks. She’s probably seen my tweets. I tweeted and then deleted things because I thought she might see them. I stopped tweeting shit about my love life because I do not want her to look at them and feel bad. I really don’t. I want her to be happy and successful. I just wish she could be like that with me. She never really was happy with me. I have to move on. For my sake. I have to.

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wake-up-i-know-you-can-hear-me · 8 years ago

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answer 1-116

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?I don't know why i feel the way i do, or even what it is that im feeling. This is what confuses me the most often- but i hope to figure it out one day.2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?Sometimes, not gonna lie, some people send me morning nudes; and that's the same thing right?3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?Not really, i've only ever kissed three boys and all of them smoke weed pretty much everyday, as long as i don't have to join in, it's cool.4: Do you find it easy to trust others?It depends on who they are and how i'm feeling. Sometime's im in a very isolating mood, but other times i want to make everything known.5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?Riding my bike, singing Red Hot Chilli Peppers, carring a hutch to my sisters house.6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?Ideally whatever boy i have feelings for at the time, i always seem to trust them the most.7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?Cry. A lot. although that is very hypocritical of me, as i have been the girl that has slept with another girls boyfriend before.8: Are you close with your dad?Very. He raised me as a single parent and since my nan died, i have lived alone with him.9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?Nah, 8 days ago.10: What are you listening to?the sound of my fingers typing and i can hear my dad on his computer in the next room11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?Any kind of energy drink.12: Do you like hickeys?I've never had one, but i like the idea.13: What time do you go to bed?Usually between 3am-9am14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?Multiple people.15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?I'd say so.16: Do you always answer your texts?No, i always open them because it annoys me seeing the notifacation, but i only reply when i need to.17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?Hate is a strong word, i dont think it is possible to hate someone you felt so deeply towards.18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?A few hours ago19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?A couple of people, but i rarely see them20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?Probably a boy tbh21: Is anyone else in the room with you?Nope22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?Sometimes, i believe everyone deserves what they get in life.23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?I'd say about the same24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?A lot of people, but a certain name comes to mind, yes.25: In the past week, have you cried?nope26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?I'm naked lmao27: Do people ever call you by your last name?I get called ''taskforce'' and other versions of my sirname, but its very very rare that someone calls me tasker28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?yes lmao29: Do you have a best friend?I'd like to think so, but im probably not theirs30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?Yes, although i know that they kiss a lot of other people31: Who was your last call/text message from?call: hollytext/message: tom 32: Are you mad at anyone?Quite a few people33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?I've only kissed people older than me34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?19?35: How many more days until your birthday?8636: Do you have any summer plans yet?Nope37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?A lot 38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?Yes39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?I dont think so, at least one person knows pretty much everything. I probably have a few that i try to forget, but all of the main ones are out.40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?No41: Do you think age matters in relationships?Yes42: Are you available?For what?43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?244: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?I have never had my ears pierced, and i already have all of the piercings that i want (other than ears, i might get them done one day). I have my septum and both nostrils. 45: Do you believe exes can be friends?Yes, as long as you both make it clear on what you want to be.46: Do you regret anything?so much47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?A boy48: Did you ever lose a best friend?Too many49: Was your last kiss a mistake?I guess you could say so, but i wanted it to happen and i don;t regret it at all.50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?Because they aren't interested51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?I don't think so, maybe?52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?I try53: What was the last thing you ate?Cheese&beans54: Did you get any compliments today?My dad's friend saw us whilst shopping and kept calling me ''lovely'' and ''angel'' and it was sweet. also like 5 people swiped up on a selfie from my sc story and called me pretty, i got more compliments today than usual. 55: Where are you going on your next vacation?DisneyLand Paris with my best friend for our 18th birthday.56: Do you own anything from other countries?yes57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?I'd say 50/5058: Where have you lived most of your life?Latchford59: When was the last time you took a long drive?I don't drive much, probably a few months ago60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?Yeah when i was younger, never an adult version like in the movies.61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?Nope62: Who do you text the most?I don't really text anyone, i have a lot of people i speak to on facebook and snapchat everyday though. 63: What was the last movie you saw?Beauty and the beast i think64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?I don't have a current girlfriend or boyfriend lmao65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?066: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?nope67: Do you curse around your parents?Too often68: Are you happy with where you live?I guess, its a shithole but it's my shithole. I've lived here forever and i have too many memories in this house to leave, as much as it pisses me off sometimes.69: Picture of yourself?lol70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?It depends. If i truly feel like i love someone, then it has to be 100% monogamous. just the thought of them even looking at someone else could make me go psycho. but if i didnt have major feelings for them then i'd be cool with them speaking to other people too. I'd make it very clear what i wanted.71: Have you ever been dumped?Nope72: What do you most like about making out?Where their hands go, lip biting, cute smiles between kisses, and heavy breathing.73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?Yeah, they had a girlfriend and i broke them up. 74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?The other usually, i catch on pretty quickly, but they usually have to kinda make it ovbious that they want it before ill even consider going in.75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?If i find someone attractive, i have to find their entire body attractive, one tiny thing can put me off, everyone is different.76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?Ryan i think77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?Nope78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?Nope79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?Boys that i like, dogs, happy memories, and things that i look forward to. 80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?I'd consider it, but im only 17 so probably not this young.81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?Yeah, they told my bestfriend first so i already knew, but they told me eventually.82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?Too fucking many, im an idiot83: Do you miss your last sweetie?A lot84: Last time you slow danced with someone?I don't think i ever have85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?Nope86: How can I win your heart?That's such a complicated question; and if you need to ask, chances are you can't. It happens without choice, but i'll let you know. 87: What is your astrological sign?Libra88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Riding my bike still, it was a long journey. 89: Do you cook?Everyday90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?Yes91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?Sometimes i do, but sometimes the idea scares me92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?I'd say im more of a monogamous person, but i dont know93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?Nice hair, nice smile, funny, nice eyes, tall, idk i have really high standards, probs why im single94: Name four things that you wish you had!-a lot of money-a car-someone that loves me as much as i love them-a nice house95: Are you a player?Nah96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?Nope97: Are you a tease?Hahaha maybe98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?I've met people i follow on tumblr, but i dont think ive planned a meetup with anyone from here, i used to meet people from ask.fm when i was like 14 lmao99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?Yeah100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?Yeah101: Hugs or Kisses?Both102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?YESSS103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?Their posture 104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?Yeessss105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?I've been there and done that, i wouldnt really call him sexy, but yeah i guess lol106: Do you flirt a lot?with some people107: Your last kiss?What about it??108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?No109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?Yes110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?Ehhh toss up between 3 people111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?Nope112: Does someone like you currently?I don't think so113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?Unfortunately 114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?I'd like a serious relationship, but people only have flings now a days115: Ever made out with just a friend?Yeah116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?I'm pretty happy single, but i wouldnt mind being in a relationship.

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kyandice · 8 years ago

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CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well) Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

Hello everyone. I would like to thank my loyal followers for questioning my whereabouts on Twitter. I was actually on vacation, because Im not poor. Sorry, but watching these morons was just not a fucking option. I was zen AF and I dont need Carolinas crocodile tears ruining it, k thx.

ANYWAYS, so onto the episode. It was kind of eh, Im going to be honest. If youre looking for another reason to be annoyed by Giannas existence though, then it def delivered.

AFTER THE MATCH CEREMONY

They are all pumped about getting four beams. In fact, if you took a shot for every time someone said four fucking beams youd need to get stomach pumped four fucking times.

Tyranny is like Ossssssssssssssssvaldo is my match. Honestly can we just cut the accent though? Hes from Chicago for gods sake, not Italy.

Oswaldo is not so sure. Hes like she could be my match! Or she isnt! Yeah, thats pretty much how life works, actually.

Also, can we acknowledge the giant-ass drink Tee has the whole time? That cup is actually my favorite cast member this season.

Carolina and Hayden start having a pillow fight because FOUR FUCKING BEAMS, AMIRIGHT?

Now Carolina is very suddenly into Hayden. Carolinas emotions give me whiplash. Betsy DeVos nomination was more certain than this bitch.

Gianna is like “OH NO. NOT TODAY. I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTHSIDE FOR THIS.” Shes like I’M GOING TO CONTINUE TO PURSUE THIS MAN WHO TREATS ME SO WELL. Even though they are a confirmed no match. Makes total sense.

So you unfriend-zoned him to cock block him? Seems v fair. So when you go to sleep, do you leave Haydens balls under your pillow or on your nightstand? Let me know.

*Starts Twitter Poll* Is Gianna hot? Yes or No?

Tyler apologizes to Taylor and is like “I have no excuse for being the ‘big bad wolf’ in this.” So youre eating peoples grandmas now? Very Hannibal Lecter-chic. Not sure Tyler understands that hes referencing a fairytale, but hes pretty so well overlook it.

Hes like these girls are all over me wah, life is hard.

TAYLOR: Im mad *looks at Tylers beautiful face* but Im not like, thatttt mad

Hes like Im not that guy, you know that! Shes like,

TYLER: I want to dump Shannon and date you

EVERYONE AT HOME:

Gianna goes to have a talk with Hayden, which she announces for everyone to know. Shes from the Midwest, okay? Shes not used to this whole having brains thing, cut her some slack!

GIANNA: HEY CAMERA GUY IM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HAYDEN ALSO GIANNA: were very low-key shhhh

Little Mike is like this is bullshit, they are not a match, they need to stop and its like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

GIANNA: I dont want to stop you from doing something but stop fucking doing it. (Im not even making that up, thats an exact quote) HAYDEN: But I need to play the game GIANNA: Did I fucking stutter

So Hayden has relocated from friendzone island to being a little bitch island. Need a house warming gift, Hayden? Ill get you crowbar so you can pull your head out of your ass. Youre welcome.

Gianna and Hayden have sex, giving life to the newest Trump supporter Im sure. Carolina sees all of this and is like wtffffff. Shes like, totally in love with Hayden! Like, they spoke for a whole 10 minutes. Didnt that mean anything to him?

Andre is like “IF THEY FUCK THIS UP IM GOING TO BE PISSED” and Im like do it. Get mad. You wont. No balls.

Honestly, Gianna could probs take Andre in a fight. That girl should be a fuckin prison warden.

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge this week is for the dudes. The guys have to spin themselves and then go through an obstacle course. Then they have to shoot a basketball into the hoop of the girl they want to date. The person who shoots the third basketball in the hoop wins the date.

challenges sound like the hazing the gay frats do. Its all v weak.

The guys start the game and are falling all over the place. *plays Ed Sheeran*

Hayden is like, fuck it. Fuck this game. Idfc anymore, Im here for Gianna.

HAYDEN:I love Gianna

ME:

He decides to help Oswaldo win a date with Tee. See heres the thingI like Hayden, but I also think hes being very dumb. Its a hard spot for me rn. Really struggling.

Tee being proud of Oswaldo for winning is like Trump being proud of winning president. We all know he couldnt have won without Hayden/Russia.

Derrick and Joey are trying to win Rush Boobss date. Derrick wants to win because fuck Joey. Theyre shooting for legit five minutes. Seriously, Ive seen better shots from . When is the last time you played basketball? Third grade? Derricks like I played division I basketball! which sounds like an alternative fact to me.

Joey wins. So its Osvaldo/Tee and Joey/Rush Boobs.

Ryan tells them they are going to trapeze and Tee is like Im black, I shouldnt be in the air. How did you get to the Dominican Republic? Drive? Horseback? I didnt know your skin color made you less aerodynamic. I just saw and honestly, Im a fucking scientist now.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Lets all agree that Tee is low-key alcoholic. Shes constantly sipping from that big-ass cup and it seems like they have a good connection. Could that be her match?

Eddie is talking to Alicia about how he is poor and shes like “LOL not me, cant relate to you peasant.” Eddie, you need to get your ass over to Kam where you fucking belong. Know your fucking place. Do not fuck this up for me, Eddie.

Tyler is trying to break up with Shannon and it is a train fucking wreck. Hes like I need to do the right thing and leave you. He actually stole the whole speech from Gabriella in .

REAL PICTURE OF TYLER:

Shannon is like “I feel dumb.” And she should, because she just got played. I feel bad for Shannon. Her voice makes me want to take a waltz off a bridge, but I do feel things, kind of.

Tylers like I didnt realize girls have feelings and get mad when you treat them poorly. Thats like saying I didnt know when you light shit on fire, it gets hot.

Meanwhile, Tee is very much trying to date rape Osvaldo. Its creepy tbh. If a guy was doing that to a girl on this show I would be dialing 911 by now. Tee, knock it off, it’s super gross.

They go to the boom boom room and literally boom boom because they break something. Oswaldo, way to not hold your ground.

Kam is oiling Eddie up and being goofy. I needed this.

Shes like I know Alicia and Eddy have a good friendship, Im not getting territorial, because this is a game show. I LOVE YOU KAM, I AM STARTING YOUR FAN CLUB. Shes so rational. Everyone be like her please.

THE DATE

Oswaldo is like this date will take our relationship to the next level, even though it already has gone to the next level. *wink, wink* I remember when I lost my virginity. We get it, you had sex.

They go to the trapeze place and Oswaldo is like Hopefully I dont break my neck. Thats a pretty reasonable goal.

They all are like surprisingly good at this. Even Tee, whose blackness surprisingly does not hinder her capabilities. Its a miracle.

Oswaldo and Tee are like being lovey-dovey because they fucked that one time. Hes like shes not trying to rape me and I like this side of her. I too am a big fan of the people who dont try and sexually assault me. Weird.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Ryan comes in hot and asks about the no matches, aka Gianna and Hayden, still hooking up.

Giannas like HOW IS THIS OUR FAULT??? Uh, youre a confirmed no match and youre hooking up. I feel like Im taking crazy pills. Leave the dumb shit to Rush Boobs, please god.

The house is like, “ugh we hate you, lets just get this shit over with.” Thats how I felt with pledges in my sorority.

Tyranny and Oswaldo go to the truth booth because duh.

OSWALDO: Im excited to learn if were a match and really connect on a deeper level. TEE: Im tryna fuck.

Im stressed because Tee will def die of alcohol poisoning tonight if this doesnt work out. And what do you know, NO MATCH.

Tee was like I was falling in love with him. Shes crying. Hes crying. This is depressing. Did I accidentally sit on the remote and turn on ?

Oswaldo starts boxing while Andre is talking him down and all the guys hug him. Wow, I love the bromance. What I love more is that eventually one of them will try and fight another. #Drama

After everything, Tyler and Shannon are still hanging out. Whats Tylers favorite thing about Shannon? She isnt Taylor. Hes got high standards, ya know? #FourFuckingBeams

Taylor is like youre fucked up. And hes like why, because Im having a conversation?

Ugh Taylor, this paaaaains me to say, because I usually automatically side with the hot girl, but hes low-key right. You need to chill out and move on. Hes not worth it, dude. Hes just not.

Andre asks Taylor wtf shes doing with Tyler and Im like YAS KEEP THIS UP.

Andre is like actually, we like each other, Taylor. And shes like wait, yeah we do. WTF is this Jedi mind control shit Andre has.

ANDRE: *swinging coin back and forth* you are getting very sleepy.. and youre going to fuck me TAYLOR: *eyes glazed* yes, master

He says that she should be a Victorias Secret Model and honestly she should marry him just for that. Like thats compliment of the goddam century.

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

Its the boys pick tonight. Please note that last time they blacked out harder than Tee does on any given weeknight.

Little Mike gets the ball rollin the wrong way and picks Kam.

Mikes like following our heart doesnt work. Hes like we should venture off, and though thats noble, maaaaaaybe not at the match ceremony. Thats like Michael Phelps being like LOOK FREESTYLE JUST DOESNT WORK right before the 4×100 relay.

Ozzy picks Hannah.

Oswaldo is up next and hes like “I GOTTA DO ME.” He picks Taylor.

Ryan asks Taylor how she feels about Tyler and shes like whos Tyler? Andre and her give each other looks and Im like OKAY YES IM HERE FOR THIS SHIT.

Ryans like Andre, do you wish you were with her and hes like Im practicing my patience. Whatever the fuck that means.

Oswaldo is like standing next to her like, lol just fuck me, right?

Andre picks Casandra.

Eddy picks Alicia and is like this is my homie.

KAM: I AM NOT WORRIED. ARE YOU WORRIED, BECAUSE I AM NOT WORRIED!!! *twitches*

Joey picks Rush boobs.

Derrick picks Gianna. Weird.

Tylers up and fucking moseys up to the front. Goddam hes like a walking Shakespeare playtragically beautiful.

Hes like Ryan, let me speak and Ryans like I didnt even say anything, but ok.

Tyler goes off about how he was painted as the villain and how he is innocent and how all this Taylor shit is fake news and the failing lamestream media is spreading false rumors!!! Sad!

Ryan asks Tyler who he likes more, Shannon or Taylor and Tyler picks Shannon.

RYAN: Do you think Tyler is your match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is Taylor his match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is the world round? SHANNON: IDK

Tylers talking about his breakup with Taylor and is like it sucks because you cant delete people in the real world. This is the first thing that I agree with him on. Dont worry Tyler, Ive watched . Well get to that point someday.

Michael picks KARI. Is it Carrie or KAAAAAARI? I have been saying KAAAAARI. Please DM some confirmation.

Hayden is next. Hayden tells the group that him and Gianna are affecting the game and they are going to stop screwing everyone over.

Gianna is like “WTF. WHO TOLD HIM HE COULD SPEAK? WHO LET HIM OUT OF HIS CAGE?” He picks Carolina. Hehe.

Jaylen and Tee are last. Tee is really bummed about Oswaldo and Ryan is like, “bitch its week four.”

These couples are random AF but idk Im drunk and just here to shit talk. Dont give that much of a fuck.

No blackout, so thats good. They get four beams again. Cant wait to hear them talk about it incessantly.